Author Archives: Kim

ABC’s – Understand yourself in order to better understand others

ABC’s – Understand yourself in order to better understand others

Really? I think and believe that this statement can go in both directions. “Understand others in order to better understand yourself”. Though, the second can make the process a lot longer. But does work. :)

This one was a little tough for me at first. I SO understood others…. I was the one that was “different”. And I know several people that understood themselves very well, but thought everyone else was confused. :)

Either way that you come to this one, it still works. I initially got really good at looking at myself (and healing) by learning about how my kids are. The uniqueness of each of them and the similarities in development cycles.

I think it should also be noted, that the best way to get to know your preferences and understand yourself is to REALLY pay attention to “why” you feel a certain way when you experience something. Note your initial reaction and when you have time, sit down quietly with yourself or a close confidant and ask yourself “Why do I feel that way?” and “What does that mean to me?”. Then when you have those answers, you can ask yourself “What do I want to do about that?” Then, before actually “taking action”, ask yourself “How would my action make me feel?” and “Will I respect myself for taking that action?”.

I have found through my journey over the past few months that when I take time to do this type of exercise at minimum once a day, I can and have invoked massive change in my life in a relatively short amount of time. And days that I feel “undone” most of the day, I slow down, ask myself the questions (or similar) through each step of the day… and by the end of the day, I have completed a multitude of things, my strength is intact and I feel good about my whole day! And then rest is so much more pleasant and I am not carrying things over to the next day (residual negativity).

Throughout my life, I felt I didn’t “know” myself. And I really enjoyed doing for others. Though, for many years and at different times, I felt and thought that it was my “job” to be there and help others. Well that didn’t “feel good”, but when I asked myself if I gave up doing for others, how would I feel. Well, I would have felt “worse”… so I continued on doing for others. What I found though, is as I helped others, I was actually getting to know me more. Understanding myself more. I had the desire to be there, providing support and doing for others, but I just didn’t understand why. Through doing what “felt” right to me, I learned and started to understand myself through understanding others.

What ever direction you take to finding or understanding self (and this is respectful understand of, not “beating yourself up” stuff) :) take the time to do it. Ask yourself the questions that you would if you were helping someone else. And remember that you deserve respectful communication and support….. even from yourself. :)

I can truly attest to the fact, that once you find your “center” your ability to create and manifest change is dramatically increased and you can do amazing things is a matter of moments.

Have a blessed day!

Kim

ABC’s – Take control of your own destiny

ABC’s – Take control of your own destiny

How did I take control of my destiny? Hmmm…. there are so many layers to this. I have now have a reference set of books that I utilize to help others help themselves and that have helped me to “take control”.

1) The Bible. Which I have started to re-read. (For the spiritual guidance)
2) “The Law of Attraction” and “Ask and It Shall be Given” (For the rules of how this all works)
3) South Beach diet book (For the health and support of a body)
4) “What to expect when you are expecting” Series of books… (for the physical development cycles)
5) “The Baby Whisper” series of books (about communication, respect and emotional development)
6) still researching…. coming soon
7) still researching…. coming soon

When I started to study “Ask and It Shall be Given” and understanding the law of attraction, I found many places that outwardly I was asking in the negative voice. Just removing that did a lot to change my experiences. Then I noticed, though my outward voice was changing, what I was getting back was still “disjointed”. I then found that my internal voice had it’s own words. I started to clearly see that some of my “definitions” were all messed up. I and my sister went back to the basics and true meanings for all words. This helped to clear up my own internal chatter and helped me to see where I was “hurt” or where I had made some strong “choices” in the past.

Ask all of my internal and external communication straighted out, and I had started to heal my body from the inside out…. I found I could think more clear. Allowing time to heal the emotional self. I no longer “gave in” to other’s desires by giving up on mine. And as I started to “cleanse” my emotional, soulful, physical and external houses…. I found more energy, more strength, more ….. lets say, I found the true “ME”…

I now take full responsibility and pride in my life, my dreams, my health, etc. I am for the first time in my adult life, truly happy. I know now how to help someone else by simply being keeping myself centered and healthy. I know now that I DO have the choice on how I feel about a situation. And if an emotion does trigger, I use it to guide my choices versus ignoring the feelings.

The time spent to heal oneself with intent is well worth the investment. Now the original dreams I came here to do initially are now back on track and thriving. There is still a lot of cleansing of the “old life” to do, but I am centered, I am strong and I am happy.

Here’s to a most wonderful journey for all of us.

Have a blessed day!

Kim

ABC’s – Stop procrastinating

ABC’s – Stop procrastinating

What does this one look like for you? This is one of the words that I had the definition “twisted up” for many years. For a long time, I thought that taking time to sit still was procrastinating. Oh… but it wasn’t. Sitting or standing “still” for a moment was actually a positive action. Then when I was assisting my niece and some other younger friends through tough times, I would easily say to them, just do “something”, always take a step forward. Not that they would have to be “big” steps, just get moving. And while I saw these things solidifying, yet another one came to light. A lot of times people don’t do anything because of fear… mostly of the unknown.

What all this turned into for me, was that taking time to sit, to be calm, would help me get to processing and thinking mode. Then, when done “collecting my data and sorting” it was time to move so that the actions could start again. I have always been comforted by knowledge and learning new things. So I actually took “action” by finding more information.

So to others, I would look like I was procrastinating, I found that I rarely do. And if I am, then I need to allow myself time to sit. Do a little something each day and celebrate my accomplishments instead of beating myself up for not getting MORE done. One bite at a time. :)

Have a blessed day.

Kim

ABC’s – Read, study and learn about everything important in your life

ABC’s – Read, study and learn about everything important in your life

Actually, from “Women at Heart / Word of Heart” I got something that fit for this so well. I have included that below. I can say, that once you find your “true center” the “struggle” goes away. And true understanding and happiness starts.

************************************************************

LEARNING TO BE REAL

“What we learn with pleasure we never forget.”

— Alfred Mercier

Educator John Holt contended that learning is a natural process that happens to anyone who is busy doing something real for its own sake. We don’t have to be taught how to learn. We begin learning about life in the womb and if we remain curious, we never stop.

A young student, Jamaal M. Watson, has offered a beautiful new twist to the concept of education: “Each of us has a one-of-a-kind identity – just as we all have one-of-a-kind fingerprints – and what education means is to develop that unique personality so that we each know who we are. Self-discovery is at the bottom of being somebody real. …To discover yourself and find your path through life, you need to have lots of firsthand experiences, mostly on your own in tough situations. It doesn’t do much good to get these experiences second hand from books.”

“You can learn new things at any time in your life if you’re willing to be a beginner. If you actually learn to like being a beginner, the whole world opens up to you.”

— Barbara Sher

Wow, it has been awhile…

Hi y’all.

So, I am going to have some new books to put out here and you will definitely “hear” a tone change in my writing. I do so believe in the “Law of Attraction”. I don’t however agree with calling this a “secret”… come on, it’s how everything works… why do we need to keep that a secret? :)

After looking back over the past three and a half years (oh… almost 4) I had quite literally started down a path to manifest a new reality for myself. And once I was “complete” with the journey to center, I can quite clearly see where I made choices that took me away from what I truly wanted. And, I can see where I “fought” or “re-taught” myself so that I could get back to it.

I feel now that I have the tools, the knowledge and the strength to face any challenge, know how to be my own best friend, comfortable with asking for help and receiving gifts. And thankful for all that I am, have been and will be. Now, I am able to love freely, care completely and be strong for those around me.

I will be finishing up with the ABC’s, and somewhere in my “notes” over the past two months, I have another abc list that better fits with my “new” perspective. I won’t make that one as long, cause now I am not “fighting” for center. I have found center and now am back to creating and growing and thriving…. WOW… this stuff is good.

Thanks again to Nat and Michael for getting this site started. It has been very therapeutic for me. To Flo for all her insights. To Rebekah for reminding me to change the sheets. :) And to GOD for bringing us all toghether!!!

Kim

ABC’s – Quitters never win and winners Never Quit

ABC’s – Quitters never win and winners Never Quit

Well, you know, for the first blog I think I have come across, I don’t think I have much to add. This one is pretty self explanatory.

Ah…. I know what I can write on this one. I think it is also important to understand when it is time to “walk away”. I tried harder and harder and harder to save my marriage. I was raise with the mantra above. And if you just work harder, and don’t give up, then all will work out.

Well, I guess it did in a way right? I worked on me. Went to counseling, studied myself, learned how to grieve, re-affirmed my faith and found, oops, chose wrong. I am not one that would want to “change” anyone else, but there are times when you must just realize that the person you may be with, though they may be good with someone else, just isn’t good with you or vice versa.

So, not to say that I “quit”, I just chose to get back to thriving versus surviving. And, re-affirming that sometimes, a body needs a break. Time to recharge, time for fun. If you are constantly “working so hard” you leave no time for the blessings to shine around you, for life to fill you. (pst: vacations are important)

So for all of you that “work” as hard at things as I did, you are officially asked to take a time out. :) Time to reflect, recharge and remember why you are doing what it is you do in the first place.

Have a blessed day!

Kim

ABC’s – Practice makes perfect

ABC’s – Practice makes perfect (Don’t know that I agree with this one)

Do we want to be perfect? I don’t know that I want to go back to that state of wanting that. As I started taking some art classes a couple of years ago, the one thing that you learn is that every piece of art has an imperfection. This is what makes it new and unique.

I think practice is worthwhile and not to take things so seriously. Maybe I would change this to patience is a virtue. Or Practice what you teach. We can “tell” our kids a lot of what to and what not to do. And we can give everyone advice… but, do we practice what we “talk about”?

I was the definitely the type A, OCD type and driven to perfection. Only to end up with stress related health issues and really….. what kind of life is that? I could never reach perfection. Or… could I?

I have found coming into my thirty somethings… that you know what? I am a unique, one of a kind piece of art. And with every piece of art there is an imperfection. :)

Have a blessed day you all! And celebrate those imperfections that make you unique.

ABC’s – Open eyes and see things as they really are

ABC’s – Open eyes and see things as they really are.

Yep…. goes along well with yesterday’s post. We have all fallen into this one. Ever seen the one that comes as the end of a relationship? And everyone we know could see, but we couldn’t?

Now, not taking away from people want us safe and happy, so they are more critical than we are at first. And some of those relationships are worth fighting for. But, when you start asking “Why didn’t I see that?”… take a moment and look. Why didn’t you? Then, when you find the answer, heal it, make a choice and create a mental tool for yourself to help you recognize those important things the next time. And… don’t ignore it when you see it. Be real with yourself first!

I found through my recent stuff, I really want and miss the open communication with my Dad. (yes, I have wrote on that before, see how important it is? :) ) But, I found also that I was “communicating” with these people that didn’t return calls, made assumptions instead of asking questions, made excuses, etc. So, if something is so important to me, why was I in a state of allowing it “everywhere” else?

Now this is not to say that some of these people aren’t important to me, they are. I just accept that about them (individually) and my relationship with the, but choose not to “feel” the disappointment cause I have defined it in. But for the ones that I find that they rest of the relationship doesn’t bring enough, I have to let them go, for me. Cause if I continue to put energy into allowing those in my life, then I will miss the beauty that someone else may show me.

Have a most blessed day! And here is to seeing all the inner beauty that you are every moment!

Consider what honesty means in your life.

I find it so wonderful how quickly answers can be found when you ask the question(s) with intent. Right along with the previous blog today, I found information, through a newsletter I subscribe to, on honesty.

I have been some huge soul searching in this area about if I am so honest, trustworthy and caring…. why are parts of my life so “empty”? And when that communication thing came up for me (Ah… blog for tomorrow)… this is what I found. I have added them to my “tool box”.

These are from one of the news letters from Susie and Otto Collins. I have found some great advise and lessons from their ebooks. Their link will be posted under my favorite links today.

A portion on one article from a recent news letter:

A few questions to ask yourself when trying to decide whether to be totally honest with someone or not might be these…

1. What level of intimacy do I want and think I can have with this person? Is what I have to say necessary to maintain the level of intimacy or even take the relationship deeper with this person–if this is what I want?

2. What are my motivations for saying what I want to say to this person? Am I just wanting to get something off my chest no matter what the cost or will it further the relationship if I say what I want to say?

3. What problems will I create within myself if I withhold this information? Am I getting physically ill by keeping this information from this person?

Honesty in relationships is a huge topic and these are just a few of our thoughts.

ABC’s – Never lie, cheat or steal, always strike a fair deal

ABC’s – Never lie, cheat or steal, always strike a fair deal.

How do you all do with this one? I have been told and we all laugh about it that I have no poker face and it is very apparent when I lie… I just can’t. And that fair thing… yeah, do that to a fault, for the other person.

I am finding during this journey to my next stage in life, that I should never lie, cheat or steal, and should ALWAYS strike a fair deal for ME. This is probably the toughest lesson I have had to do. And sums up most of my challenges in previous blogs. And yes, there are signs for the internal lies we tell ourselves as well.

My friends and family have questioned my “taste” in men over the past few relationships. I tell them they have a “quiet strength” that attracts me. Utilizing all those sporadic moments of good to tell a story of how great they are. (striking a fair deal for them). So, these people were blessed to have met me, but I was not so blessed to have chosen them. And, nor will I be able to fully trust myself undone with them.

I found that my truth was / is I wanted to be accepted my way and for the full of me. I looked for the disrespect (in all its forms) I perceived from my youth and lived it cause I was just sure that someone would see the beauty of me; outside of their own stuff. (hhhmmmm what had I been asking for? and looked was continued to be).

I found that the ones I wanted so much, really don’t like or respect women. HHHMM.. Now, considering that I am one, the result is as wonderful as I am, this main part will not be able to be changed. :)

So today with all of you, I choose to respect and love myself. To not tell “stories” or paint pretty pictures anymore. Reality is reality. And if I feel the need to scream that there is a problem, or have the need to tell someone good bye, that I am being truthful and that I am wanting a fair deal for me. And, if I don’t listen or act on it, then I am cheating myself from what I do want to come into my reality.

Listen to what your heart trying to tell you when you feel like coming undone. What is it you want? Not what you have or don’t have, but what you want. The take a positve step in that direction.

We all deserve to be the best US we can be. And we all deserve love, honesty, trust and RESPECT. But it has to start with how we listen, talk and act with ourselves.

Have a blessed day all! Love yourself fully.