It’s so amazing. I struggled with I didn’t have a place to just speak. To just be. … Since my Dad passed.
And at the same time, I was so blessed for how well and open we became on our conversations as he got close to passing.
Be and feel blessed for all the times that you get. Give yourself credit. If I hadn’t have been the person I was…. if my parents had not have been who they were…. if I had not have gone through what I had… (oopppps…. maybe here we should introduce…. what I chose…)……
I would not have had those moments to be thankful for.
I have had the most wonderful blessings of being there… being the one that so many have talked to at the end of their lives…. at the moments that they had to make hard choices about life….
As I know those of you that have and may read what I write…. I have struggled… about why or how … or mad.
But in my initial writings. I believe in there is the power of choice. And though initially I also believed (definitively if not self)…. that you also had a choice in how you felt…. I now also know that you don’t always have a choice about how you initially feel. What action you choose as a result…. is character. How you deal with how you felt is self. “Why did you feel that way?”….. “What does that mean to me?”…
Then…… what you do from there…. that is the blessing.
We don’t all come here with a text book. As we get older, we say that same statement about our kids…. we say that about being parents. It is every decision, every response, every moment that helps us be More ourselves.
Isn’t it awesome? In the most amazing definition of the word awesome?
I have never been afraid of awesome. I have celebrated it. What I value in what I share with all of you…. is me, learning how to celebrate the awesome that is me. I had always lived my life for others. Proving their “opinions” about the value of others wrong…. showing people a better way… finding a better / more effient way… making sure that I had my life “paid” for.
What you have seen of late is my words about … hhhmmm…. how do I do what I want for them…. my kids. And… in turn…. I wanted so much for them…. I am finally… finding me.
I can guarantee… we all came here with a desire. For this experience…. we were going to change something. We also, (once we changed that) were going to DO something for ourselves. Experience something.
I think the biggest challenge is…. when do we believe we have done the first?…. did we accomplish it? The thing we meant to do initially?…. YES. YES. YES. Just choosing to be born did that. Just choosing to live does that. Just choosing to read and research does that. Just wanting to do and learn more about self does that.
There are times every moment of every day that you can feel guilty (oh…. and I do that allot as of late) for not doing enough. But… I can also say I am thankful…
I am thankful for the hard work I put in, for being who I was and am… for the fact that because of all that I got my severance…. I got the time to heal and have money to pay my bills. And…. I did and am enough, I was asked to be apart of this site. To have the chance to talk to all of you.
Have a most blessed day. And if you EVER think you aren’t enough, just know, that because you are reading these blogs… then you are. You are looking for more. For a reason… for a truth… for someone like you.
For every moment that you question… anything. Really… trust in that is life. That is truth. That is a blessing.
NOT… a reason for guilt. Do something with it. Even if that means you feel a little better about yourself tomorrow for questioning…. for looking for an answer. You did something. Celebrate the fact you did something by looking.
Have a bless’ed day. For all of us that blog here, and comment here and started this site, every one of us is entitled to life, happiness and peace.