The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny. – Albert Ellis
I didn’t learn this lesson until I was in my middle years. Before that, I blamed just about anything I could that was not me; the government, the economy, my boss, my childhood and etc. The idea that my problems were my own was a foreign idea and one that did not sit well with my belief system at the time. Those thoughts left me with a sense of powerlessness about the course of my life. Even though I had many good times throughout my life then, there was always an undercurrent of “I’m not in control.”
Towards the late 1990’s, I begin to suspect that the world worked much differently than I had previously believed. I met people that seemed to be in complete control of their lives and didn’t care what was going on anywhere else in the world. They blamed no one else for their misfortunes or their successes. I started reading books that delved into these topics.
Little by little, my approach to my own life changed. I saw a dramatic difference in my thoughts, perspectives, attitude and beliefs. I did have to take a deep dive down into a quagmire for a complete transformation from the old me, but that is for a different story.
I felt like I was growing by leaps and bounds in a short period of time. When I looked back on my life, it appeared somewhat stagnant while my current life was like a kayak on a fast moving river. I liked the new sense of freedom that came about from believing that I was in control of my own destiny.
The point of my story is to convey the message that your thoughts are your own. Your attitudes can be changed and controlled. Your belief system can be adjusted. You hold the reigns for your own life. Not one thing or person one can take that from you unless you believe otherwise. As our thoughts, attitudes and perspectives change we see the world differently. We understand the power of every individual including ourselves. We now know that we can be and do anything. As some have said, the world is our oyster. Life can be fun and fulfilling. We just have to make the decision to go there.